You know what those advertising people say: Sex sells. And sex plus weirdness confuses people, giving them a combination of weird boners and actual boners and weirdness about having the actual boners and generally making everyone feel a way they may or not want to ever be feeling. Maybe it sells, who knows. They say [...]
You know what those advertising people say: Sex sells. And sex plus weirdness confuses people, giving them a combination of weird boners and actual boners and weirdness about having the actual boners and generally making everyone feel a way they may or not want to ever be feeling. Maybe it sells, who knows. They say a couple long sentences.
Here’s your 2009 in Sexual Commercials (NSFW):
10. Save The Boobs PSA
We don’t care about saving womens’ lives but we LOVE BOOBS DON’T WE GUYS??? HIGH FIVE!!!!! I’m also against ASS CANCER yeaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!
9. Gisele Bundchen For London Fog
There’s a fine line between “spokesperson for” and “wearing logo as strap-on”.
8. Danica Patrick Godaddy Lesbian Strip
If I read these commercials right, that website’s just a dancing .gif of Danica Patrick’s vagina, right?
7. Padma Lakshmi For Carl’s Jr
The symbolism is, it’s a penis burger.
6. Pepsi Raw
Wooo!!! Slightly different Pepsi!!!! Here’s my boobs, buildings!!!
5. PETA’s Veggie Lover “Banned” Super Bowl Ad
OMG so controversial they’re banging vegetables this cannot be aired even though PETA was definitely gonna pay to air a commercial on the Super Bowl sex boobs sex!!!!!!!
‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad
4. Spongebob Burger King
We’re all in jail now for this commercial having existed.
3. Burger King Seven-Incher
At what point does “innuendo” cross over into “it’s just a d*ck”? (Busy year for BK, huh?)
2. Fish-Gutting PSA
I will never, ever gut a live fish ever again. Or gut a live stripper. Or have an erection.
1. Durex Doggies
They pitched this campaign with one powerpoint slide of that thinking dude clipart saying “Adorable balloon doggie sixty-nines?”
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